Clashes are an inevitable part of life. Unfortunately, it tends to get a bad rap and a lot of people believe it can ruin a relationship. We people tend to perceive it like a bad plague. We don’t like to perceive conflict, especially in non-confrontational cultures, as we focus on the harmony of the relationship/group.
A lot of people believe conflict means drama, and drama means the usual tranquility of everyday is disturbed. However, conflict is a lot more nuanced than that. If we ignore conflict, we ignore issues.
Thus, it is necessary.
In this article, we’ll talk about conflict, its necessity in relationships, and tips.
Signals A Need For Change Conflict
Conflict is irrevocable, inevitable, and usually, they are small signs of a bigger problem. Without a conflict, people do not evolve. The truth of life is that people remain stagnant and unchanging if they go on without a challenge.
Conflicts within a relationship, regardless if it is platonic or romantic, signal that the relationship (and of course the people involved within it) need to change. A lot of us tend to see conflicts in relaitonships as unnecessary or as an attack on us and that contributes to running on hot emotions especially when conflicts occur.
Necessary For Improvement
If you ever feel bad about conflict, remember that it has always been inevitable because all of us come from diverse backgrounds. It should not be surprising that we disagree. But the splits in friendships, churches, businesses, over conflict? It’s quite astounding.
According to Susan Heitler, Ph. D., a Denver clinical psychologist and author of The Power of Two: Secrets of a Strong & Loving Marriage, conflict and fighting are caused by skill deficits. Thus, one or both parties in conflict need to improve in some aspect of their treatment of the other person.
If you two value each other in your life, then expect that your relationship can and will eventually stand the test of conflict and time.
Prevents Issues From Going Deeper
Tiny things can be a valid cause of concern within a relationship. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, held a research study within 24 years. From there, she learned that in relationships, even the tiny things can turn bigger. Once these tiny things become bigger issues, it becomes hard to unpack.
Thus, if you want to keep your relationship, you have to be mindful about the small issues that bother you and your partner/friend.
Tips
- Calm down: A lot of conflicts turn hostile because people run hot and high on what they feel. Before starting communication, it is imperative that you calm down first. You can do a relaxing hobby like play Jili online before you can talk to your partner and communicate to them the reason they are upset.
- Set boundaries: Conflicts also occur because people are not clear with their boundaries. Boundaries are healthy and great because they also act as goodwill. As your partner/friend, these people should not ideally force you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.
Wrapping Up
Conflicts shouldn’t mean an automatic red flag. Rather, it’s better to see them as signals for people to change in a more positive way.